


Alone in the dark

by Justalittlechaos



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: A lot of Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Coma, Families of Choice, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Canon, but it gets better, eventually, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justalittlechaos/pseuds/Justalittlechaos
Summary: Fuck, he thought, as he tried to get his body to move. Despite his insistence, his body did not so much as twitch.After another run in with Kozak Nicky is stuck in a coma. Joe is sad, Nicky is frustrated, Andy is furious and Nile just wants a goddamn break.
Relationships: Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 11
Kudos: 250





	Alone in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Take this mess from me, please. It just wouldn’t leave me alone for days on end until I started to write it. 
> 
> Should I update my other story? Yes. Yes I should. And I promise I’m writing it but it may still take some time, sorry guys. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it.

Benjamin took one look at their contractors and decided that he really rather not fuck with them.

The security group he’d joined two years ago had gained a rather brutal reputation after a job where they took down a wannabe bomber at some fancy party. Over all he liked the people he worked with, he was friends with a few of them but generally got along fine with everyone. It was paid well, which was normally worth the risks but the job Morris had for them gave him such a bad feeling he’d done some research on his own.

Edward Jackson Morris was apparently the CEO of some Pharma company that he’d never heard of before and, after a quick google search was pretty sure, was fake. The whole job sounded shady and absolutely not legal. They were supposed to help secure a location of some human traffickers and capture their operatives. Why on earth a supposed Pharma guy wanted a human trafficker ring destroyed was beyond his ability to figure out.

Morris also had a partner. A women in her late thirties maybe early fourties. Some doctor, she introduced herself as, he couldn’t quite remember her name but she gave him the creeps. Something about her just screamed psycho, very, very loudly. She had met the group they were supposed to capture before and gave them instruction on how to ‘handle’ them.

So he’d done some research. Contacted other private security groups, some he’d worked with before. Morris never hired anyone before but the doctor was supposed to have been in contact with a group that went out of business three years ago. He wondered about that, since it seemed fairly successful and dug deeper. He found one person who was part of the group, a Mr. Andrew Carson who had apparently retired early, not that unusual in their line of work. Which led him to the phone call he was now having.

“I’m supposed to work with someone who was among your last employers,” he looked down to where he’d scribbled out the name of the doctor. “Doctor Kozak, I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about her.”

A sharp intake of breath could be heard at the other end of the line before Carson said in a tense tone “Stay away from that job kid, that bitch is crazy as hell.”

“Was there something wrong with working for her?”

“Yeah, a lot of things.“ he muttered “Do yourself a favor and sit that one out.”

“It’s a group of people, I think you worked against before. Three men, two woman.” he paused “Apparently they have swords or some shit.”

Carson then cursed very colorful and practically screamed into the phone “Those freaks aren’t fuckin’ worth it! Fuckin’ monsters!”

“So their good?” he asked.

“Whatever they offer you just say no. They wiped out our entire group, stay away from them if you know what's good for you.“ Carson said a bit more controlled now and ended the call.

Great.

Benjamin, who really had no intention of dying anytime soon, knew that this job was probably a bit above his pay grade. The description of the traffickers did match a mercenary group with a success rate that was just plain scary, so it wasn’t hard to figure out that Benjamin’s group had been hired to take out some of their competition.

So, while he did not wanted to fuck with Morris and crazy lady he also did not want to fuck with the people he was supposed to capture.

His boss had already accepted the job and he didn’t want to leave the others hanging, or lead them to what sounded suicide with extra steps.

Then he had an idea. A terribly stupid idea. But. At this point, he’s pretty much screwed no matter what he does.

* * *

Nile was making the entry, followed by Andy, Joe is set up as rear guard. Nicky lies on his stomach, watching through the rifle scope.

It’s been three years since Nile joined the team, they had figured out a good routine for the jobs they took. Nicky had already taken out the patrol, so that the team didn’t have to worry about being seen before the entry. Now his job was to wait until they had finished in the compound and shoot anyone who made it out.

They were taking out a human trafficking ring based in Austria. Copley had gotten a tip from someone in the BND about a possible shipment that was supposed to go to Germany.

The shooting started and Nicky listened intently over the earpiece. He did not like jobs where he had a separated task from Joe. But it was where he was most useful right now so he accepted it.

“Good job, Nile!” Joe praised.

“Thanks!” she shot back, a bit breathless.

Nicky would have to ask later what happened, setting it aside to concentrate on his task.

“You good, Andy?” Nile asked. For one heart stopping moment Nickys fear skyrocketed before Andy answered. “Yeah, keep go-” abruptly the line was filled with static. Panic spiked for a second before he adjusted his rifle trying to see any potential threats.

“Boss?” he asked and received no answer.

Nothing had outwardly changed, perhaps the compound was better equipped than they thought. Their equipment was the best they could get though, it should work. Still he did not move from his position, rifle firmly trained on the only exit.

There was noise in the bushes to his right, too big to be an animal, quickly Nicky drew the gun strapped to his leg, rolled to the side and fired once. There was a shout, more noise and Nicky knew his position was compromised.

Cursing he moved to leave his rifle behind, trying to get better cover before assessing the situation again when something sailed through the air and landed a few feet away from him.

_Oh_ come _on_ -

The grenade exploded, Nicky was thrown from his half standing position and hit the ground his left side on fire.

He groaned, still set on getting away but a good portion of his left arm was missing and he could feel bits of his torso and upper leg regrowing. He managed to keep the gun in his hand and shot at the approaching men. His aim was off, he hit a shoulder and grazed ones helmet before the gun was wrenched out off his hand. Some one roughly grabbed his hair, his head was pulled back before getting hit violently against the ground.

His already blurry vision was joined by black spots dancing across it. Without the healing that was already kicking in he doubted that he would have remained conscious. He felt zip ties go around his wrists and then he was being hauled up by his arms.

The pain slowly receded and he began to plan.

He counted ten men, bit excessive that, two were injured. If he got his hands free he could kill them with their own weapons. He’d probably die a few times but that had to be accepted. The others must have noticed that the line went dead and know somethings off. Joe would come looking for him, he knew. Nicky just hoped that the others were alright. They would come for him but only if they were able to. He set the thought aside and tried to move his hands. The ties were too tight, no chance to get out. He could shoot through them he supposed, eyeing the gun of the man carrying him, loosely held in his free hand.

Before he could act on any of his plans they reached a clearing, a van and more people waiting for them. Not good. He counted five men and a woman, blond with her back turned to him, discussing something in low tones over the phone.

She ended the call, turning towards them.

“Mr. Genova. It is so _nice_ to see you again.”

Nickys blood ran cold, looking at the doctor. Smiling that perfectly plastic smile of hers, she gestures for one of the men. A black, plastic briefcase is thrust out to her, opened and he could see syringes with a murky, grey-ish substance. Kozak took one of the syringes, walking closer to him.

Nicky reared back, trying to get away and was punched in the stomach for his troubles. Coughing, he was shoved to the ground, held down in a way that reminded him of the first time they’d been dealing with Merrick.

Kozak leaned over him, syringe in her hand.

“We had some problems last time, let’s just avoid that all together now. I made this just for you, you know.”

No. No- He needed Joe. He didn’t want this, he needed to get back to the others, he needed-

The needle was jammed into his neck, immediately he felt a haze falling over him. He blinked, trying to clear his head, Kozak was saying something but it was so far away, he couldn’t make it out. He felt himself being lifted up again but couldn’t coordinate his body’s responses, remaining limp.

He heard gunshots, then nothing.

* * *

“You good, Andy?” Nile asked, that last guard had gotten a bit to close for her liking.

“Yeah, keep going.” The last part of her sentence was almost too silent as the com went out, static coming through their earpieces.

“Shit!” Andy cursed as she joined Nile at the next door. Joe was jogging over to them, remaining closer to Andy than necessary. There should only be the next corridor before they should reach the cells and Nile absolutely did not like that their com just went dead like that. Something was up.

“Somethings off.” Andy echoed her thoughts, Joe nodded tightly, agreeing.

“What do we do? Continue?”

They were saved from the question by a someone yelling from beyond the corridor.

“Please don’t shoot! Your being set up! I have information!”

Male, young but Nile had no way to tell if he was honest. She traded glances with the others. Andy nodded and yelled back. “Open the door and come through, hands up, no weapons!”

“Alright!” came the reply.

Andy took position next to the door, gun raised. Joe was standing next to her and Nile went a few steps back, aiming at the door.

Slowly the door opened, the man was clearly a mercenary, the gear was high quality, close to what they made Andy wear, the only thing missing were guns.

“Close the door.” Andy commanded.

Slowly the man turned around, doing as he was told. Once the door was shut Andy grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall, pressing the barrel of the gun under his chin.

“Speak.” she growled.

“There were teams waiting for you at the cells. They were going to gas you and ship you off.” He was clearly scared, talking fast and with a noticeable tremor in his voice.

“What about-”

“They moved the women to another facility, I can tell you where. I gassed my team instead, you can just leave.” So he was trying to save his crew as well as himself.

“Who is in charge?” Nile asked when Andy just narrowed her eyes dangerously at the mercenary.

“Morris and that crazy doctor. She’s not right in the head, crazy bitch.”

“What doctor?”

“I- I don’t know-” Andy pressed the gun firmer against his chin “I don’t! Something with K! Kossek or something!”

“Shit!” Joe cursed, tense and ready to bolt.

“Why would you tell us?” asked Andy suspiciously.

“I did research, you killed the last team that tried, everyone! Please!” he begged and Andy knocked him out with the butt of her gun.

“Retreat.” she ordered.

They made it out of the compound with out any difficulties. Their com was still only filled with static.

“Let’s go get Nicky.” said Andy, even though Joe was already going in that direction. Moving at speed, gun ready.

Nile had taken over covering Andy, sporadically glancing at Joe as they made their way towards Nickys lookout.

This was her fault, she thought. If she had just killed Kozak when she had the chance this would not be happening. They would be safe if not for her.

Reaching the place were Nicky was supposed to be they only found a crater and bloody earth. Joe made a choked noise and practically ran into the forest, following footprints and drag marks.

They followed as fast as they could, while trying to be as silent as possible. They stopped eventually, looking over a small clearing, and Nile wanted to scream.

Nicky was on the ground, Kozak moving away from him, placing something back in a briefcase. Then Nicky was being moved, dragged towards a van. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t fighting.

Then a shot rang out, Kozak went down and Joe was moving. Half the men went to meet them the others continued dragging Nicky away.

“Joe! Shit, wait!”

But Joe was already storming the area. Cutting down people left and right, Nile had never seen him move so quickly. He’d cut down at least four people before a shot to the head took him out, falling to the ground. Andy and Nile were close behind him, Andy’s labrys killing the man that had shot Joe. Nile heard the van start, whirled around, shot the tires before running up to the drivers side. They were trying to drive on the flat tires, Nile tore the door open shooting inside without targeting.

The van was still going, the driver slumped in his seat, foot still on the gas. Nile grabbed the dead mans shoulder, wrenching him sideways and off the pedal. The van rolled slowly until it stopped. Nile got out shooting into the engine before reloading and continuing to the doors in the back.

Joe came to meet her, Andy still busy with the last of the men. She opened the door, Joe shooting inside, he took a bullet to the shoulder and kept going before getting shot in the knee and falling down. Nile came around the corner of the van, seeing two guards still in the van, and shot the closer one in the head, turning to the other one only to see him fall back as Joe managed to take him down.

She looked back to Andy, she was towering over a wounded Kozak, decided she was fine and went to help Joe, who had climbed into the van.

Nicky had been thrown carelessly onto the floor, lying on his side, not moving. Joe, cut trough the zip ties with the end of his scimitar before, setting it aside, gently turning Nicky on his back. His eyes looked over Nicky, searching for injuries, hands coming up to hold his face. Nile felt like an intruder in a private moment and turned her back, to guard to door.

“Nicolo. Nicolo destati.” Joe’s voice was heartbreaking he got more panicked as he went. “Destati, Nicolo, per fervor, Nicolo.”

She could hear that he was crying, her own eyes stung as she looked out over the clearing now riddled with corpses.

“Joe. We should leave.” she got out. Wanting to get away from all of this.

“He’s not waking up, Nile. I don’t-” he broke off, sounding choked.

“They probably drugged him, it’ll wear off. We should clear the field.” She turned to look at him, he was still looking at Nicky, hovering over him. Joe gathered Nicky into his arms and carried him out of the van.

They walked over to Andy, who had her foot planted on Kozaks bleeding shoulder.

“What did you do to him?” Joe asked angrily.

“You are selfish! This could help so many-” she screamed as Andy dug her foot into her shoulder.

“He asked you a question.”

“This is my life’s work you’re destroying, you stupid-” again screaming until Andy let her foot up.

“Nile.” Joe said, looking at her strangely calm. “Look after Nicky for a bit, please.”

She nodded as he carefully set Nicky on the ground, Nile kneeling to hold his head in her lap.

Joe took a knife from one of the bodies lying near by and knelt next to the doctor.

“What did you do to him?” he asked again.

“You don’t understand- You-”

It was her loudest scream as of yet, as Joe cut off her index finder, with a sure and fast movement. She was crying, but Joe didn’t care.

“We can go over this for some time before I run out of things to do to you. Tell me what you did and I’ll show more mercy than you deserve.”

Kozak was still crying, whimpering pathetically. Her eyes were wide in fear as she stuttered out “It- It’s j-just a sed-sedative. I made- made it.”

“Thanks awfully.” Joe said before shooting her in the head.

* * *

Nicky wasn’t waking up. They arrived at the safehouse, Nicky still in Joe’s arms, sprawled across the backseats.

Whatever those drugs were they took some time to wear off. Especially for an Immortal. He should have woken up by now. Joe knew that last time Merrick had them the drugs wore off sooner.

They had left the bodies in the field, but grabbed the plastic briefcase that contained a syringes, one empty, clearly having been used on Nicky. They made it to their car, a few kilometers away from the site.

When the car stopped Nile came around to his side and opened the door for him. He shifted carefully, pulling Nicky with him. He got out, carrying Nicky bridal style to the house. Nile went ahead of him and wordlessly opened doors for him, eventually leaving him alone as he entered the bedroom.

Placing Nicky gently onto the bed he began to rid himself of his gear. Carelessly throwing it into the corner of the room before doing the same for Nicky.

His beloved did not react to his touch, lying limply on the bed.

When he was done removing the gear he got a towel and a bowl of water from the adjoining bathroom, setting it on the bedside table. Dipping the towel in water he began cleaning Nicky's face, going down his neck. Once his face was clean, he ran a hand through his hair, silently willing his husband to wake up. Nicky, the ignorant bastard, remained asleep.

He stared at the ruined clothes, deciding that they could not be saved and got new ones from the cupboard.

Carefully he removed the blood soaked shirt, cutting it away and tossing it on the ground before cleaning away the dried blood from Nicky's chest. He lifted him up, one arm around his back, his other hand gently cupping the back of his skull. Leaning him against his chest to get the new shirt on. He let go for an instant to get the shirt and Nicky's head lolled against his shoulder and Joe wanted to murder someone. And simultaneously wrap Nicky up in blankets and never let him go again. But still. Murder. It would make him feel better to shoot the doctor again but it would not help Nicky.

He lowered Nicky back on the bed, when he was done. He pressed a kiss to his temple before continuing cleaning him up. Pants were removed and the towel cleaned away the blood and grime before Joe pulled the soft sweatpants up Nicky's legs.

The whole time Nicky showed no sign of waking and Joe was worried. They all had run ins with various drugs before. None had ever had a lasting effect. Not like this. He should be awake by now. It’s been at least four hours since he was injected and his healing should have filtered the drug out by now.

But Nicky remained asleep. His breathing was even and there seemed to be nothing otherwise wrong with him.

Joe laid the blanket over him, not wanting him to be cold. He didn’t want to leave in case Nicky woke up but he still had to shower and frankly he was feeling a little disgusting by now. Dried blood all over him, making his clothes stick to his skin.

He opened the door, to the living room. “Andy.”

Andy was sitting on the couch, elbows on her knees, hands holding her head. She looked up, reading his slightly pained expression she nodded. “I’ll stay with him.”

He nodded back and made his way to the shower. Nile came out just as he was reaching for the door. She let him pass without a word but reached out and squeezed his arm gently before walking in the direction of the kitchen.

He showered quickly, not wanting to be away from Nicky for too long. Alone with his thoughts, the fear he had shoved back so hard came back with full force. Seeing Nicky on the ground, getting hauled around by mercenaries, being _taken away from him-_

A sob escapes his throat, he tries to calm down, concentrate on his breathing but he can’t hold the tears back that mixed with the spray of the shower. He hated Kozak. In almost a thousand years he never hated someone as much as her. When they fought enemies before he never felt hate like this.

He allows himself to cry, before forcibly taking a breath. And another one. Until his breathing is back to normal.

Drying off quickly, he pulls on clean clothes and heads back to the bedroom.

* * *

“Nicolo, you promised we would always be together. You promised. So please, _please_ just wake up.”

Nicky, as he had been all week, remained asleep.

* * *

Andy was staring at her little brothers face, hoping to see anything that might indicate any change to his condition. _Condition._ He shouldn’t have a condition. He was immortal, whatever Kozak had given him should have worn of in the first few hours. They were not unaffected by drugs but they processed them faster than mortals.

Obviously the universe never cared about what should and should not be. Because Nicky was in a coma.

That’s what it was at this point, even if none of them wanted to say it. When the first day had passed and Nicky had remained asleep, she knew that this was not going to be pretty. Joe was already a mess, even if he knew how to hide it, she suspected mostly for Nile’s benefit. He didn’t sleep at all during the night and was now lying next to his husband on the bed, curled into his side, in a light doze. There was no way Joe was going to leave Nicky for anything other than basic necessities.

Andy and Nile would have to make sure he ate, he had a tendency to forget it when he was stressed.

Nile was busy calling Copley, they had kept him updated on the situation while he was trying to find out more about the drug that Kozak had injected Nicky with.

When Nile had suggested that maybe they should get an IV, Joe had looked like he might cry but didn’t say anything. Andy had been the one to put it in, Joe’s hands were shaking to much. She’d hugged him after, letting him cry into her shoulder.

He had been strangely quiet since they got here. It was so unlike him, not that Andy could fault him for it. It felt like he was trying to match his husband in his silence.

Nile had told them about physical therapy at dinner the second day. While their immortality would heal bed sores it sounded like a good idea, they lost and build up muscles just as other people did after all. Joe had quietly told them that he would do it.

Copley was the one to mention that they should give thought to feeding Nicky and the like. He told them he could hire a discreet nurse for the job. Her name was Maria and she had helped him take care of his late wife in the end. They had accepted. And so every day Maria came around noon to professionally get a tube down Nicky’s throat to get him some liquid food shake into him. She laid a catheter. Andy hated it. Hated it with a passion. Her little brother was laying in a bed, dead to the world and she hated it.

Andy had the urge to go and burn something to the ground. She wanted to wreak havoc upon the bastards that had done this to her family. But all the responsible parties were already dead, or in case of Kozak mysterious new employer Morris vanished into thin air, which left her frustrated and without an outlet for her anger.

She wasn’t used to sitting still like this. She needed to do something, anything, to just make this better somehow.

“Oh Nicky. You get into the worst trouble, little brother.” she told him in his native Ligurian dialect.

* * *

Nile had taken the watch that night, so that Andy could catch some sleep. Nile figured that as an immortal she could survive on a little less sleep. Joe slept just enough so he didn’t outright collapse. Even though Nile wouldn’t really call it sleep. He just closed his eyes lying next to Nicky, alert at the slightest sound.

It wasn’t healthy, not in the slightest but there was also nothing she could do about it. She wanted to apologize to Joe. If she hadn’t let Kozak get away Nicky would be fine now. When it became clear that he was not waking up she researched how to treat coma patients for hours. Suggesting an IV and physical therapy seemed like good ideas but when she saw Joe’s face she wished the words had never left her mouth. She hated seeing him cry. He was holding it together for her sake she knew.

When it was around midnight Joe’s breathing evened out and surmised that he’d finally managed to fall asleep. He had bags under his eyes, and his skin had become an unhealthy shade rather that his normal color.

Tears pricked at her eyes and with no one there to watch she let them run tracks down her face. She moved to take Nicky's free hand, hating how lifeless he seemed.

“I’m so sorry.” she whispered.

* * *

Nicky woke up in stages. Impressions flew by, Joe’s voice, his arms holding him.

When he finally woke up it was to Joe holding his hand. He wanted to open his eyes to look at him only to find that he couldn’t. With rising panic he found that he could not so much as lift a finger. He desperately wanted to let Joe know that he was awake, but no sound came out when he tried to speak.

Why couldn’t he move? - _Kozak. A needle in his neck_. _Joe?! Joe where are you-_ Shit.

Lying paralyzed in bed at what he suspected was their safehouse in Munich. It was the closest after the one they had stayed at. There was something in his left hand, he never had an IV before but he had put enough in others during his time as a medic, to be able to recognized the feeling other people had described to him. The catheter was uncomfortable but nothing he couldn’t ignore.

He tried again to get any part of his body to move, to no avail. Logically he knew that his immortality should take care of this sooner or later and while he had a good amount of patience it was already starting to aggravate him.

Sitting still for hours, peering through his rifle, he at least had the _option_ to move. And Joe was almost always there with him, as his spotter. Now he was stuck with no way to communicate. Joe was right next to him, but he might as well be a thousand kilometers away, for all of Nicky's ability to talk to him.

He heard the door opening. “Joe,” Nile sounded hesitant, “I warmed up some food from yesterdays dinner.” Nile stepped further into the room and there was a sound of a plate being set down, The smell of curry floating through the air.

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry.” Joe replies. It’s the first thing he has heard Joe say since he woke up, or didn’t depending on your view point. He sounds so utterly devoid of any emotion Nicky feels like a vice has been placed around his heart.

“You barley ate anything yesterday. Or the day before that.” A pause. “You need to eat, Joe.”

Joe sighed “I know. I know, but- I just-.” He breathed out audibly through his nose, clearly frustrated. “I’ll eat later.”

“I don’t think Nicky would like you not eating.”

Damn right, he doesn’t. Normally he avoids trying to guilt Joe into anything but he’ll make an exception for this. And since it’s not a normal circumstance either he believes that Joe would forgive him too.

There is no more conversation, but he hears Nile step closer to Joe, who’s hand does not move from Nicky's.

It’s a few moments before he hears Nile leave, leaving him alone with Joe, who does not seem inclined to say anything.

It’s fairly understandable, maybe he would do the same, if their positions were reversed but it is also incredibly, annoyingly unhelpful. He has no idea what happened beyond his capture or how long it has been since. Obviously they had gotten him back but the How was something that he would like to know. He remembers hearing shots before blacking out and surmises that it likely was the team starting to take out the men that held him. If they got there before they could take off in the van he doubts that anyone got away. Which means that Kozak is dead. It lifts a weight of his chest, to think that she is gone but at the same time he also wants confirmation. It’s likely but… Nothing is sure in the world they live in. There was no way the team would have let her get away a second time and Joe got very angry when he was hurt. Not that Nicky would fault him for it, he was the same after all.

He spent the rest of the day sporadically trying to make his body move and failing spectacularly. After a few hours he fell asleep again.

He wakes to arguing, on what he thinks is the next day.

“-wait?!” Joe’s voice, clearly angry.

“I really don’t know what else we’re supposed to do! Or have you somehow gotten a medical degree in the last week?!” Andy. And Nicky is so very happy that she is alright, having not heard her before.

Last Week. A week. He had been unconscious for _a week_?! He’s pretty sure that he’s in a locked-in state at this point. _Fuck_ , he thought, as he tried to get his body to move. Despite his insistence, his body did not so much as twitch.

“No, but forgive me if _I_ don’t want to just _leave_ him like this!” Joe hisses back. Nicky would have winced if he could. The implication that Andy doesn’t care and the reminder that one of them is being left on the bottom of the ocean are enough to make Andy draw in a sharp, audible breath and for Joe to backtrack with regret in his voice, anger forgotten. “I’m sorry Andy. I shouldn’t-”

Andy cuts him off. “I know. It’s alright.”

“It’s not.” Joe is quiet now, his voice pained.

Nicky wants to reach out, to hold but his arm remains on the bed.

“He’ll wake up. Have faith, Joe.”

“Hah, you speaking of faith… The world really is ending then.”

The sound of a light smack, followed by a short laugh from Andy, that seemed without any humor.

“We’ll get through this, Joe. We always do.” she says and he hears her leaving.

Joe lets out a sigh and comes back to Nicky’s side, taking his hand again. “Please, Nico.” it’s almost to quiet for him to hear. “Please come back to me.”

_I’m trying,_ he wants to shout but his body doesn’t move.

“Please.” Joe says again and Nicky is sure that he’s crying. He almost preferred the silence.

* * *

It becomes a routine for Nicky. Wake up, try to move, fall asleep, repeat. As far as he can discern he wakes up in the mornings, he does not last a full day awake, but every time he stays awake for a bit longer. Joe is almost always there, he doesn’t think that he leaves for anything else than the toilet or the shower. Nile or Andy bring food, which Joe eats under what he suspects are threats and glares from the two women. Sometimes he wakes to find Joe laying next to him. In those moments he desperately wants to move but as always his body remains still. Often enough Nile or Andy sit next to him, holding his hand while Joe sleeps next to him.

At times he feels himself being moved, hands slowly bending his limps, moving into different positions on the bed. Its Joe, who else could it be. Physical therapy is something he heard of, but never seen or studied. He feels helpless, being moved around like this, completely out of his control. He can do absolutely nothing and it leaves him angry and scared at the same time.

The most horrible thing was waking up to a tube in his throat. He wanted to gag only to find that he couldn’t, out of all his experiences as an immortal this might be in his top 10 of most uncomfortable things ever. Personally nothing will ever beat landmines, he thinks, but still. It becomes clear that they must have hired someone to do this job, he hears Joe talking to a woman, catches the name Maria.

He decides that he likes her. She’s talking to him and he likes that. Not that Joe doesn’t talk to him. Pleas for him to wake up tear Nicky's heart into pieces. He wants to scream, to reach his husband somehow, but _can’t._ He wishes he could cry.

Maria talks when she’s there, about her dog, football (the real kind, not the American one) about her last holiday in Italy and how much she loved it there. Even though she went to Venice, which Nicolo despises for several reasons but non the less he is grateful for a bit of normalcy. It’s been a few days since he first woke up when he catches Nile talking to Maria, after her daily check ups on him.

“Does talking to him help?” she asks the nurse.

“It does in some cases, but I just find it nice to talk to him, it makes it feel a bit less…well. Impersonal I suppose.“ Maria answers.

“Yeah, I guess.” Nile sounds unsure.

“It can’t make it any worse, Nile.” she says kindly.

Nicky is beginning to worry a bit, if he’s honest with himself. It must be close to two weeks now since the job but still he felt no change. His medical degree was a few decades old, he’d been meaning to get a new one soon, but his theory was that the drug attacked his brain and slowed down his healing. His focus had been on emergency treatment though, so he could not know if he was correct.

All he could do was wait and it was driving him insane. Was this how Qyunh felt? Trapped, unable to escape. It hurt to think about so he shut the thought away, concentrating on getting his fingers to move.

Joe was in the shower, as he often was when Maria came, he could hear the water running. He wants to hug Joe, run his fingers through his curls. He knows how much it must hurt him, seeing Nicky like this.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nile.” Maria said, leaving Nicky alone with his newest sister.

She sat down in the chair to his right, taking a deep breath. “So, ehm. Hey Nicky. I-” She didn’t seem to know what to say, pausing for some time. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” she finally got out and _what?_ “I had her. In the lab, at Merricks. I let her go. I- I’m sorry.”

_Oh Nile._ All of them had left the doctor on the floor, not finishing her off had been a mistake by all of them.

“You really need to wake up, though. Joe’s not in a good place right now, so I really need you to wake up and help me and Andy to bully him into eating. I miss you, you know? We all do. And you still need to show me how to use your stupid sniper gun, you promised.” she reminded him.

And he remembers that he did promise that. She had thrown herself into training with them, wanting to fill her time with a distraction, to take her thoughts of her newly found immortality. Andy showed her how to fight with swords, he and Joe pitched in from time to time. Joe had shown her new hand to hand moves, she was already very good at it and delighted in putting them on their asses whenever she could. When she found out that Nicky was a trained sniper she had asked him to show her. They never gotten around to starting her training, as missions got in the way and he and Joe were more often than not on vacation together. In the direct aftermath of Merrick they stayed close together for a few months until they left Andy and Nile and went to Malta. They stayed for seven months before returning to their family.

“Nile?” Joe asked, returning from the bathroom.

“Hey. Maria said it could help talking to him.” she offered as an explanation.

“Oh.” It sounded small and Nicky hated it. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I’ll get started on dinner.” Nile said and hurried out of the room.

Joe let out a sigh and sat in the chair Nile had just vacated. He stroked over Nicky's knuckles with his thumb, lightly holding his hand.

“I’m so happy that we have her.” he says and Nicky agrees wholeheartedly.

For a while he says nothing more and Nicky half expects him to stay quiet before he continues. “I miss you. You’re right here and I miss you. Everyday I hope that you’ll wake up and everyday my heart breaks when you don’t.”

_I’m so sorry. Yusuf, I’m trying, please don’t cry._

“I killed her. Kozak. I shouldn’t have, she could have told us how to help you. It was selfish but I was so angry and you- you were-” Joe breaks off, possibly to trying to keep from crying.

_This is not your fault anymore than it is mine. Don’t burden yourself needlessly, beloved._

“One of her soldiers betrayed her. A kid really, just twenty five. He warned us, knocked out his own squad with the gas meant for us, just so that we would leave. Stupid, reckless kid. Copley’s keeping a look out for him. Andy wanted to go back and finish them but Nile was against it.”

Huh. That’s interesting. A mercenary with a conscience. Or just self-preservation who knows.

“Her sponsor escaped.”

_No. No no nononono- It’s supposed to be over now. Please just-_

“Copley’s looking for him, but so far no luck. Andy’s hounding her contacts for information too.” he pauses “I want to go looking for the bastard too. I want to finish this but I also can’t leave you. I won’t. Never again.” He falls silent again, hands tightening around Nicky's.

Nicky is, well not happy, but relieve mixed with anxiety is probably the closest to what he’s feeling. Kozak is dealt with and the others are looking for the sponsor. But the fact that there is someone still out there that knows about them worries Nicky to no end. He hopes that the team will find him before he finds them. The only thing that’s scaring him more than being trapped in his own body is the thought of Joe and the others suffering the same fate.

He concentrates on Joe’s hand, the feeling of warm fingers holding his cold ones and tries to curl his fingers around Joe’s. Nothing happens. It’s frustrating him beyond believe.

* * *

Joe starts reading to him. When you’re immortal you have a lot of time, not all of it goes into fighting, but in the last couple of decades everything suddenly picked up speed and with new technology, communication and transport, they were fighting more and more these days. In light of that his ‘to read’ list had grown and grown, he never quite managed to reduce it, especially with so many new books published every day.

It’s a bit annoying that he sleeps through some parts of the stories, which leaves him guessing what happened between the last part and where they are now, but mostly he manages to follow the plot.

When Nile is there she asks Joe if they read certain books, that she enjoyed and thinks Nicky would like, and is positively horrified when she finds out that they have read neither The Lord of the Rings nor Harry Potter. The next book Joe reads to him is The Hobbit and Nicky finds that he likes it. From then on Joe works his way through the trilogy.

Sometimes Nile takes over for Joe, when he is lying next to Nicky, burrowing his head in his shoulder.

Andy reads to him too, although not as often as Joe or Nile, mostly she just sits in a chair next to Nile. He can feel her silent support and is grateful for it.

He is counting Maria’s visits, once a day, to keep track of time. When the one month mark comes around he screams for hours in his head for his body to move, to do anything and nothing happens. It’s exhausting and frustrating and leaves him feeling more helpless than he ever did in his entire life.

Joe doesn’t read to him that day. Neither Nile or Andy are there, it’s just him and his husband, who lays beside him in the bed.

“Nicolo. We came into this life together and we will leave it together. I know you remember our promise, so wake up already, you stubborn bastard.” His voice holds a trace of anger that is completely fake. When Nicky predictably stays silent he continues. “We promised, Nicolo.” there is a tremble in his voice, small but Nicky hears it.

“Please. Pl-please, Nico-” and then he’s crying, gasping for air between sobs, begging Nicolo for something he has no control over.

He has no outlet to let his own anguish as he listens to Joe, who is clutching at Nicky's clothes, sobbing into his shoulder. _I’m so sorry, Joe._ Eventually Joe cries himself to sleep, hands still twisted into his t-shirt.

* * *

Nile is worried.

Worried because Nicky has been in a fucking coma for over a month, because Andy is constantly on the phone talking in to many languages to count, always angry and because Joe just cried himself to sleep.

Nile covers Joe with a soft blanket and resists the urge to linger, she doesn’t want to wake him, now that he is finally getting some sleep.

She tries her best to be there for the others but she doesn’t feel like she is contributing much. She doesn’t have contacts yet, not like the rest of the team does and can’t go looking for information. She thinks about calling Booker but in the end doesn’t do it because Joe or Andy would, if it would help them find a cure for Nicky. She video chats with Copley almost daily, sifting through information, brainstorming but they haven’t found anything useful yet.

Nicky is still healing. They can see it when ever Maria changes the IV needle. Maybe if Nicky dies he would wake up, she thinks. As soon as she has that thought she feels ashamed. They can’t just kill him, hoping that it’ll fix things. She doesn’t voice her thoughts, it wouldn’t help.

Instead she sets about making dinner and hopes that Joe will eat something when he wakes up.

* * *

Copley wishes he never discovered them. That he never dove headfirst into this madness and called it an honor. It is, but that is not the point. He feels incredibly guilty, for the pain the immortals are going through. If he hadn’t shown them to Kozak and Merrick this would not have happened. Now he stares blankly at his laptop waiting for an update from a friend in the CIA.

He send the drugs they took from Kozak to a lab to be analyzed, the results were- well, the chemists who did the analyzing insisted that this was, in fact not a sedative and could render someone brain dead if injected. Copley, who did not know the limits of immortality, was inclined to believe it.

It’s been over a month and a half now. Morris is no where to be found, it’s ridicules. Even Andy can’t find anything and her list of contacts is very impressive.

He never really wanted for anyone to get hurt in all of this, a naive thought and more than a little stupid but it’s the truth. He wanted to help people, make sure no one ever suffers the same fate as his wife, ever again. And now he indirectly helped to do just that.

Nicky is lying in bed, still except for the rise and fall of his chest and Joe is a shadow of himself, keeping vigil at his husbands side. Much like he was with his own wife in the end. The knowledge that he doomed another to this fate sits like bile in his throat, he has to make this right somehow. And so he goes back to work.

* * *

Joe doesn’t want to believe that fate could ever be so cruel as to separate them in such a way. Whenever the subject of their potential deaths had come up before Nicky swore to him that they would die together, since they became immortal at the same time but also because their souls were woven together in such a way that even death would not be able to tear apart.

Now Joe feels himself doubting. The third month, that he is without Nicky, approaches. There is a needling voice in his ear that whispers terrible things and the most terrible thing of all is that he starts believing it, bit by bit. _This is it_ , it whispers, _this is his end. You’re alone now._ _He won’t wake up. It’s been too long._

Stubbornly he clings to hope, to their promise but- it’s been almost three months. His husband still sleeps, showing no sign of waking up. He still reads to him, it feels hollow and leaves him feeling more empty than before. Nicky likes to discuss books that they read, what he liked, what he didn’t, it went out of control often enough between the two of them and ended in arguing and philosophical debates. He misses that, misses him.

When the others find Morris he’s going to rip him apart with his bare hands. But not before they get answers from him, he has more control than that.

He went on a run with Nile yesterday. She had pestered him for weeks now and finally he gave in. It shouldn’t feel like a big thing, yet it does. He realized that he hardly left the bedroom in the last months and doesn’t know how to feel about that. It’s not healthy, he knows that. At the same time he hates leaving Nicky alone, if he woke up and Joe wasn’t there- he hates thinking about that, so he tries not to. Returning from the run he felt anxious, bursting through the front door, hurrying to get to Nicky, who had slept on, peacefully.

The run showed him that he needed to get back into shape. He couldn’t fight like this, it would get the others killed and with Andy being mortal he wouldn’t take that risk.

In the evening he would go running again. Even if he could not bring his Nicolo back to him he would make sure that the others were safe. And Nicolo would come back. He had to.

“You are the most irritating, annoying and petty idiot I ever met.” he says to the love of his life. “I’ll be damned if this is the thing that takes you from me.”

* * *

Nicolo wakes up to yelling. It’s coming from beyond the bedroom door.

“I’m going, you can’t stop me, Andromache!” That’s Joe. Full names never mean something good in that tone of voice.

“Are you sure you up to it? If you lose control we loose our last chance!” Andy, she’d just as angry.

“It’s his decision, Andy! I think he should come!” Nile. Loud but more frustrated than angry.

Their talking about leaving, he realizes, with a sinking feeling. A job, maybe? If it’s urgent he doesn’t want them to stay here for his sake. Being alone doesn’t appeal to him either but it’s not like he would put himself before innocent people. He doesn’t understand what Andy means about a last chance, doesn’t have any context clues to help him. The conversation quiets down and he can’t make out any words before the bedroom door opens. He hears movement throughout the house, footsteps coming closer.

Joe takes his hand, leans over him, gently touching his forehead to Nicky's.

“We found the bastard, who funded Kozak.” he says, quietly. “I swear I will do everything to help you, Nicolo.”

Fear makes Nicky's heart beat faster, he doesn’t want Joe to be in danger. If that man is anything like Merrick he will make things difficult. He knows Joe can handle himself but now he is not there to batch his back. Never in all their time have they taken jobs without the other.

“And if I can’t, rest assured that he will suffer pain that will not be rivaled by any power found on earth.” he whispers, it’s Nicky's native language, that no one but them speaks anymore.

“Maria will be here for as long as we’re gone. She’ll take care of you.”

He withdraws then, crosses the room, picking something up, that Nicky presumes is his go bag and head towards the door.

Nicky wants to reach out, keep Joe from leaving and is shocked when he feels his fingers twitch in response. He tries again and his fingers move, slowly, shaking, lifting a few centimeters of the bed.

The footsteps continue undeterred, Joe must not have seen. Nicky tries to force a sound out of his throat but nothing comes out. The bedroom door closes. He tries again and again but nothing happens. He can hear the others talking, the voices fade until he can’t make them out anymore, then there the sound of the front door falling shut.

* * *

Nicky opens his eyes and has to blink against the light. Once his eyes adjust, he looks around.

It is indeed their bedroom in the Munich safehouse, two chairs have been dragged next to the bed, he dimly recognizes them from the sitting room. There is an Iv pole on the right side, medical equipment in the corner, the door to the bathroom slightly ajar.

There is noise coming from the kitchen, Maria is making lunch.

His limbs react more readily now, closing and opening his hands, his legs feel tingly, feeling just now returning to them. Slowly he pushes himself up by his elbows, he falls back the first two times but doesn’t let himself he deterred. Soon enough he is sitting up against the headboard, rolling his shoulders, taking comfort in being able to move again.

He is recovering at amazing speed now, he notices. The drug must be purged from his system almost completely now. With it’s influence gone his healing must be accelerating, no longer held up by it.

His hair is longer now, almost past his shoulders and he wants to shave. He wants to go to the bathroom but doesn’t trust his legs yet. After a few minutes of stretching his arms, he’s confident that they’re going to work as they always have and he removes the Iv as well as the catheter. Carefully he moves his legs over the edge of the bed. His feet touch the ground for the first time in what is most likely more than four months, it feels like a victory.

Nicky takes a deep breath and slowly but firmly pushes himself to his feet. His knees buckle and he goes down, but catches himself on the bed before he crashes to the ground. Huffing out a frustrated sigh he determinedly pushes himself up again. For a while he just stands, one hand braced against the wall.

Making his way to the bathroom with small steps, still trailing along the wall, he decides that it was in fact Joe’s timing that was shit and not his. Because he was in a coma for four months and Joe left half an hour before he woke up. Worst. Timing. Ever. Andy will never let them live that down.

Slightly out of breath he leans over the sink, hands braced on either side and looks in the mirror. His hair is a mess and his beard upgraded from ‘probably looking like caveman’ to ‘I will die anyway, why bother?’.

He goes to turn on the water, then stops. Maria will hear the water running. Having her run into him shaving and or showering is ultimately not something he wants. Frowning at his own reflection he ponders on what to do.

Joe and the other will probably be away for a while. What he wants to do is get to Joe immediately but he knows that while he’s being able to move again without much issue he certainly won’t be much help in a fight. In fact he would get in the way and hinder the others. So he would not go to join them on the mission. Calling and letting them know he was fine would split their attention. He thought that they would likely be able to concentrate on the mission regardless but-

If Morris had the same drug that put him in a coma he did not want to take chances. Which left him frustratingly at the same place he was for the last few months. Annoyed at the circumstances and unable to help anyone.

Resigning himself, he left the bathroom again, his legs carrying him without any protest now. Opening the bedroom door, he called out into the living room. The kitchen was just beyond it and he knew that Maria had heard him, the sound of something metal falling to the ground with a startled yelp. Probably some cooking pots, Nicky thought.

The kitchen door was wrenched open, revealing a rather shocked woman.

Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, jeans and a black shirt. She had glasses and freckles.

“Hi.”

* * *

It took all of Joe’s self control to not kill Morris the instant he saw him. His operation was destroyed and he was a pathetic, shivering wreck kneeling before them.

Apparently he’d gone into hiding the second his plan went off the rails and had only come out now because he thought the danger of being discovered was over. What a fool. Joe could have waited centuries to get his revenge. That didn’t mean he wanted to though, impatiently glaring at the man. But he waited for Andy to ask her question, finding himself to angry to ask and not just shoot him.

“The serum our teammate was injected with. What do you know about it?”

“Nothing! It’s a sedative, isn’t it?” he proclaimed “Do you want money?! Please! I’ll get you whatever you want!”

“What I _want._ ” Joe said, “Is my husband.”

As Morris continued to splutter uselessly Joe raised his arm and shot him. It was quicker than the bastard deserved. But he just wanted it to be over now.

Together they made their way back to the getaway car. Copley would clear the surveillance and get them back to Germany within a few hours. The ride was silent. There was nothing more they could do now. All options to help Nicky had been exhausted. It filled Joe with helplessness and anger. Anger that he was helpless.

They pulled up to the safehouse thirteen hours after he had killed Morris. The light was on and Maria’s car was still parked outside. He had felt bad for leaving Nicky alone with Maria, who had been carefully vetted and was a genuinely good person, but still. It left him on edge leaving Nicky behind, even if it was just for two days.

_The last time he left him, his beloved ended up in a coma, possibly brain dead, because of him-_

He shut the unbidden thoughts away and made his way to the house. He opened the door, calling inside. “Maria? We’re back!”

There was a heavenly smell coming from the kitchen, and a noise coming from the direction, but Maria didn’t answer. Looking Nile and Andy, who were also frowning at the lack of response, they made their way to the kitchen.

“You,” said a voice, that he surely must be imagining, because he almost thought he would never hear it again- “have the worst timing I’ve ever seen.”

Nicky, beautiful, wonderful Nicky saunters into the hallway with a smile, looking like nothing ever happened, even though Joe can see the tension in the line of his shoulders, the way his eyes are a bit wet and it’s the most incredible thing he’s ever seen.

A moment later he is in his husbands arms, not knowing which one of them moved or if they both did but it’s not important. His fingers twist in the fabric of Nicky’s shirt, just standing together, holding each other until eventually Joe pulls back a bit, running his hands through Nicky’s hair, kissing him deeply.

* * *

Later, when everyone is in their rooms and Maria has gone home, Joe and Nicky lay in bed together, neither of them wanting to sleep.

“I’m afraid, that if I close my eyes you’ll disappear.” Joe admitted.

“I won’t.”

Nicky was running his fingertips over Joe’s arms, sending shivers downs his spine at the feather light touch.

“I was awake.” he said after a while.

“Nico…” It’s a breathless thing, eyes widening in horrified comprehension, even as Nicky begins to explain.

“I was awake, I could hear you but I couldn’t do anything and I was so helpless and I hated it and-” he cuts himself off with a sharp intake of breath, pulling Joe even closer to himself.

Joe lets him, shifting so that there is no space left between them. They’ve overcome so much together, he has every confidence that they’ll overcome this too. But as always, he knows it’ll take some time.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Nicolo only chuckles. “It really was the worst timing. Ever.”

“Yeah.” he agrees. Grinning he adds “Your timing. Not mine.”

“Oh no, you are not pinning this on me. It was quite clearly your poor timing. Not mine.”

“Most definitely not.” he argues with mock affront, grinning all the while.

“Oh, it definitely was.” Nicolo is grinning right back at him.

Yes. They’re gonna be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make me write faster :) In case you want a follow up on this.


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